


I Had To

by RF1999



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, One Shot, Sad, Sanvers - Freeform, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 22:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10603359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RF1999/pseuds/RF1999
Summary: Lena chooses to save Kara and has to deal with the consequences.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story may have a trigger warning for some people. If it does I am sorry and it was never my intention. I will take it down if people want me to.

Lena keeps replaying the moment over and over in her head. Seeing her mother stand over Kara with a kryptonite knife in her hand. She remembers seeing her mother ready to stab Supergirl as she lay on the ground barely conscious. She remembers the moment she pulls the trigger, and sends the bullet that takes her mothers life. But she also remembers that she saved Kara’s life. Kara the love of her life.

25 hours after the incident everyone is at the DEO. Kara is still unconscious under the sun lamp, Alex is running test trying to figure out why Kara hasn't woken up yet. Maggie is trying to keep her girlfriend from having another panic attack while she tends to her own injuries. And Lena. She doesn't know what to do.  
She has been sitting in the same corner of the sun room since Jonn carried Kara to the room.

She keeps replaying the moment over and over in her head and tears begin got fall down her face.

Lena is not one for tears, especially in public. Her mother used to tell her, “Luthor’s don't cry. if you are going to get emotional do it in the privacy of your room. No one wants to see thats. its pathetic.”

Lena at once wipes her tears. Trying to suck it up. She is trying to figure out how she should feel. She took her mothers life, to save Kara’s and the other hundred thousand aliens that her mother hated. She's trying to reassure herself that what she did was the best thing.

Suddenly the thought hits her, “why should she feel bad? Lillian never cared for her, never treated her like a daughter.”

 

Out of the corner of her eyes, Lena could see the DEO agents staring at her through the glass as they pass by sun room. She can see the pity in their eyes. And she hates it. She just Kara to wake up so that she can get away. She wants to know if Kara will be alright so that she can figure out what to do next.

Lena eventually falls asleep against the wall. A few minutes into her sleep, she starts having nightmares. The image of her mothers body falling. The image of Kara laying on the ground motion less. She doesn't realize but she ends up crying in her sleep. Screaming out for someone to help her, even though she is not in danger anymore, for the first time in years. 

At the sound of the blood curling scream, Alex and Maggie run in to the room thinking something had gone wrong with Kara. They see that it is Lena and immediately rush to help her. They don't want to touch her but they don't know how else to wake her up. Soon the screaming stops and turns into sobbing. Alex and Maggie have no choice but to wake her, because they are afraid Lena will start to hyperventilate and that won’t help matters at all. 

Maggie approaches Lena and puts her hand on Lena’s shoulder. The touch immediately startles Lena to wake. She starts flailing her arms and accidentally hits Maggie in the face, sending her on her ass. Alex steps in to try and help Maggie calm down Lena. They manage to hold her down in a hug until Lena stops struggling, but she keeps crying.

Alex and Maggie sit with Lena on the floor. Her head on Alex’s lap as she runs a soothing pattern through Lena’s hair while Maggie is next to Alex mumbling reassuring words for both Lena and Alex to hear. Soon the sobs turn into silent streaming tears, and eventually they stop. 

All the girls just stay on the floor, waiting in silence for something good to happen. Suddenly a slight whisper breaks the silence. “I had to” whispers Lena. Alex and Maggie look at each other and then back down at Lena. “What did you say?” inquires Alex, still running her had through Lena’s hair. “I had to” says Lena as she shifts to look at the other two women in the eyes. “She was never going to stop….” a long pauses happens as Lena tries to form a proper sentence. “My mo… Lillian she was never going to stop, going after supergirl, after Kara or the other aliens. She was never going to stop.” Tears begin to well up in Lena’s eyes again. “I didn't want to hurt her, but she wasn't going to stop.” 

Alex and Maggie sit silently. Unsure of what to say to Lena’s confession. They saw what happened. But they didn't know what to think of it until now. “I love her” continues Lena. “I love Kara. Im in love with her and I couldn't let anything else happen to her. She has saved me so many times and this was my chance to save her. There was nothing else i could've done…please forgive me” and once again the sobbing starts.

Alex and Maggie start comforting Lena again, unbeknownst to them that Kara had woken up.

“Thank you” the three women hear from one the sun beds. 

Immediately Lena, Alex and Maggie jump up and rush to Kara’s side.

“You saved my life” whispers Kara, her voice full of exhaustion from just waking up.

Lena wants to reach out to Kara, to touch her, kiss her, but she doesn't think she is worthy enough. Surely Kara wouldn't love her now. After Kara losing her whole planet when she didn't have a choice, there is no way she would for give her for choosing to kill her mother, even if it was to save super girls life. 

Kara can see the hesitation in Lena’s body language and opens her arms to her. “Come here” says Kara to lena.

At first Lena wasn't sure, but her need to have Kara’s body next to her over whelmed her. She accepts Kara’s invitation and lays in her arms. “We are going to get through this” says Kara quietly in Lena’s ear. and Lena for the first time in hours considers that they might be able to move on from this. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Any comment/ criticism is well appreciated. Have a good day.


End file.
